Vagina Makeup Is Here And I Have No Words (Except These Ones)

Apparently even your lady bits need luminiser these days

Image: Supplied by Harvey Nichols.



Vagina makeup. Now there’s two words I never expected to string together, but there they are. Vagina and makeup. You see, I have just discovered that beauty products for your lady bits is now a thing. And someone (indeed a whole lot of someones) is buying this stuff. Truck-loads of it. Turns out vagina makeup is so popular the handful of beauty brands creating it are struggling to keep their shelves stocked.

And frankly, this information has left me a bit flummoxed. Vagina makeup. But why? Seriously. Why?

According to Avonda Urben, founder of The Perfect V, a line of multitasking skincare created specially for the V or bikini area, it was high time women had beauty options for this part of the body. Apparently, when Urben hit up her local pharmacies and beauty stores, there was little vagina beauty to be found. It’s possible this concerned her. Or perhaps, Urben is just one entrepreneurial cookie who spotted a gap in the market? Who’s to say?

Image: Instagram/@Theperfectv The range is based around a vagina wash, exfoliator, serum, cream and luminiser amongst others.

 

After the Hong Kong launch of The Perfect V, Urben told the South China Morning Post that her market tends to be skewed slightly younger and that her products are popular with those who love a new trend.

“Early adopters have been girls who go to spas and salons, as well as a younger crowd who spend time on looking good. With education hopefully it will go mainstream,” says Urben.

“This type of product doesn’t fly off the shelves and has to be explained because it is so new and innovative. Believe me, no matter what country you’re in, it can be a taboo subject. But once people learn more, they want to try it.”

Hmm … I am learning plenty. But I have to admit – I don’t want to try vagina makeup. But then maybe that’s just me? Perhaps other women love the idea of skincare and makeup for their private parts. If so, they’ll be delighted to learn that The Perfect V is beautifully packaged. It comes in chic nude and gold containers that would look utterly acceptable, indeed luxurious, in any bathroom. And the packaging is subtle. Unless someone was really checking very closely, they’d likely think that your new vagina makeup was simply a body scrub or lotion.

Image: Instagram/@Theperfectv Millennials, models and influencers are getting on board. And the packaging is super pretty.

 

Even more importantly, this particular range boasts natural ingredients designed to work with a woman’s body – not to disguise or alter it in any way.

“The PH balance is different to the rest of the body and the skin there has more sweat glands and is more sensitive,” says Urben. Given that it was important to her that the products were as safe, effective and as natural as possible. Urben also insisted they were fragrance-, parabens- and SLS (sodium laureth sulfate)-free.

I have to hand it to her there. There’s nothing that warms my heart like a natural product, but the fact there’s now a vagina makeup range still troubles me. Is there no area of the body that doesn’t need beautifying? Worse, is this a subtle way of suggesting to women there’s something wrong with a vagina in the first place?

Lordy. Like I said. Flummoxed. I’m all for women wanting to feel good about themselves. Indeed, that’s the philosophy this whole site is built upon but The Perfect V makes me feel a teeny bit uneasy. Like I said though, that might be just me and if you love the idea and it will help you to feel confident and to love yourself more then heck, I say get on board. Or get it on board. So to speak.

Image: Instagram/@Theperfectv To me, unless you work in a profession that means your vagina is on display and pretty much all of the time I don’t see why … but then that’s just me.

 

It’s not all bad, I’ll definitely give you that. Urben is from Copenhagen, Denmark, and so she’s all about traditional Nordic ingredients. She’s particularly keen on berries such as cloudberries and lingonberries, which contain high levels of Vitamin A, C and E, and are proven to brighten and calm the skin. Her products contain both plus many more natural, soothing and deeply lovely ingredients.

The question is ought they to be applied to your vagina? Actually, the question is probably whether anything needs to be applied to this area at all? I mean isn’t it completely perfect as is? I say yes. I also say any man or woman who is blessed with a viewing should be counting their lucky stars and feeling very privileged indeed – luminiser or no. But again – I need to say this – that might be just me!

Yes. It’s The Perfect V Shades of V Very V Luminizer, $43 USD. In case you were confused it comes with the tagline – Luminzer Cream for the V. Apparently it has a luminescent sheen to it designed to ‘Add some prettiness to the V’. I don’t know but I reckon a vagina is pretty sweet as is. Still, each to their own of course. There’s also a Gentle Wash, $21 USD, a serum and oh I’m exhausted … just click the link if you want to see more.

Clearly, Urben is onto something because the range is already stocked in prestigious stores such as Harvey Nichols in the UK, Niche Beauty in Germany and Magasin in Scandinavia. Plus, The Perfect V is in the running for a swag of beauty innovation awards and while I’m a little nonplussed by the idea of vagina makeup, I’m all for innovation and female empowerment so I’m going to have to leave this here.

Oh but I can’t! Vagina makeup. Seriously? It’s a no from me.

Image: Instagram/@Theperfectv Lumizer! For the vagina! I just can’t …

 

 

 



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